Isabel Lucas

This girl is amazing; she was my favourite character in Home & Away and was the reason I decided to start highlighting my hair many years ago. I just wish she’d go back to blonde now.

"He's liked, but he's not well liked."

On Saturday I received a 4 page letter from Kingsley, it was a year ago to the day that we had started dating...and the letter said that he would’ve proposed on that day if we had still been together...it said a lot of other things too, and it honestly made me reconsider my decision – I wondered if perhaps I’d been too hasty, too selfish, or too unreasonable over the past few months...I agreed that we’d meet up yesterday to talk things through, but pulled out at the last minute. And thank goodness I did. Kingsley has a certain way about him which makes me feel vulnerable and as though I need him to protect me, he also makes me feel as though he’s the only person that will ever love me.
He can manipulate my feelings and play on my insecurities, he knows how to work those things to his advantage, and whilst I do still love him – that’s not the type of relationship I want to be in. We’ve been broken up for a few months now, and I’m sure he’ll read this entry at some point, so hopefully he’ll understand that I can’t be with him. Not after everything that’s happened.

My confidence levels plummeted whilst we were together; I began to feel as though I wasn’t good enough for anyone. I’m not sure why that happened, because he is a lovely person, he’s the perfect gentleman – but at the same time I think he holds a sense of entitlement – mainly because his parents spoil him so much, and so he assumes that everything he does is right, and expects me to abide by his ways – and that just doesn’t work for me. I know I’ve been spoilt too, Kingsley constantly tells me that, but I do appreciate everything I have, and I like to think that I’m quite rational and can see both sides to every story – whereas I honestly don’t think he can.
And so, I think this may be the closing of the ‘Kingsley and Victoria’ story, for good. I will always love him, and wonder what could’ve been – I’m essentially giving up a loving man, a financially secure future, our impressive wine collection and the dreams we had about moving to France when we were both 25. It’s a shame that it’s come to the point where I feel I have to give up on everything with him, but I know that the relationship wasn’t right for me then and certainly isn’t right for me now – not when I’m only just starting to feel like myself again.


I’ve had a couple of requests from people asking for books that I’ve found to be particularly influential or those I consider to be my favourites...although I could easily work myself into a frenzy whilst thinking about favourite books, I’ve managed to narrow it down to a list of 10 literary works which I think should be read by everybody, I’m not going into depth as to why they’re important to me nor am I going to spoil the storylines, just head to a library and start reading!

1) Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli; I’ve actually lost my copy of this book, but I remember giving a presentation on it during my A-Level English Literature class. I always buy this for people’s birthdays because I think it has some excellent messages running throughout, it’s essentially about non-conformity and appreciating the smaller things in life, this is a MUST read.

2) I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith; the only word I can use to describe this is ‘magical’...everything’s described so artistically and it’s a wonderful piece of work for inspiring your imagination.

3) The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky; this is an easy read, it’s written without fancy words or sentence structures, yet it’s really hard-hitting and definitely makes you rethink life after finishing the book. My copy is filled with notes and scribbles in the margins, and I’ve underlined some of the more poignant sentences.

4) Of Mice & Men by John Steinbeck; the main theme running through this novel is the American Dream, it’s an incredibly touching read – prepare to be devastated by the ending (you may need a box of tissues).

5) Death Of A Salesman by Arthur Miller; I’m a big fan of plays – in fact I think I would rather read a play than a novel. This play depicts the struggles of a working class American family, and again the pursuit of the American Dream...another tragic ending, and so many memorable quotations throughout the play, I was lucky enough to see the stage show production too! One unforgettable quotation is “nobody's worth nothin' dead”.

6) Measure for Measure by William Shakespeare; I think Shakespeare is my favourite playwright, how terribly cliché...and this is by far my favourite work of his. It encompasses so many different themes and has a very interesting storyline. A lot more enjoyable than Romeo & Juliet!

7) Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë; we had to read this for an exam in English Literature, and I just have so much respect for it...this novel also brings back great memories of a group in my class that I worked with – we all felt incredibly involved in the storyline, almost feeling as though we were stood on the moors with Heathcliff, we laughed and we cried over this classic piece of literature.

8) Relentless by Simon Kernick; this is a thriller which really keeps you on the edge of your seat – it’s easily read in two or three days, and constantly keeps you guessing as to who you can trust...it also opened my eyes as to how corrupt the police are.

9) Harry Potter by J K Rowling; wow, just wow...so descriptive, so imaginative, I love these novels.

10) Plato’s Republic; I wouldn’t recommend actually reading the Republic, but definitely read supporting texts if you’re interested in political philosophy and the notion behind justice. I love the concept of living in a Republic with people fitting into a gold, silver or bronze classification, I know that this wouldn’t work in contemporary society, but it really is a fascinating idea.


And someone else asked how tall I am and how much do I weigh...I’m around 5’7 and usually fluctuate between 94-100lbs.

Bliss.

Oh my oh my, I’ve been so busy...my life seems to revolve around emails and meetings at the moment...I’m very lucky because I’ve been presented with the opportunity to work with a well-known lobby group for my dissertation...I think my title will be something along the lines of ‘To what extent do lobby groups influence policy making within Westminster’...or I might change Westminster to a multi-level governance aspect, I’m not sure yet...my proposal isn’t due in until the end of July so I have time to decide, but I’m planning on observing the processes behind political lobbying and then have the lobby group as a significant case study...in return I’ll hopefully receive lobby-training which will be an invaluable addition to my CV. However, this means that I’m constantly liaising with people, mostly via email at this stage...and as my phone is synced to my inbox, it means I cannot escape from this electronic whirlwind – not that I’d really want to at the moment, but I would like to simply sit back and relax for a day.

Luckily, this time next week I’ll finally be able to switch off as I’ll be on a yacht in Greece...there’s no need for my phone out there as our island only has one main road...it’s tiny and unspoilt, very beautiful...I always forget that real life exists whilst I’m out there because it’s just so different...then of course, I’ll come crashing back to reality three weeks later...I’m not sure if I’ll update the blog whilst I’m away and I’ll only be checking my emails every few days...I want to use the time to read instead. I’m buying a few new books tomorrow to add to the pile that I already have waiting to take away with me...tomorrow I’m buying The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart and American Psycho by Bret Eason Ellis, and my cousin bought me the Herodotus Histories – so some classic Greek literature to counteract my somewhat disturbing other choices. I also have The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger, The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare and I think I’ll take Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to re-read before the film is released. So I have plenty of reading material to indulge myself in.

As for my date last week, well...it was nice...but I can safely say that Maxwell and I are destined to be friends only. I didn’t feel that spark.


PS. I’m very undecided on Alexa Chung, she’s gorgeous and dresses well...but I don’t think I’ve ever actually watched her present anything so can’t decide either way whether I like her or not...but isn’t the British flag comforter adorable? I want one.

The devil’s out of fashion.

I’ve been having such problems with my phone reception recently...it switches onto the French network during some of my calls which means the call automatically ends, annoying! Sometimes having France as your neighbouring country can be a lot more problematic than you would think...luckily I think the benefits far outweigh the negatives.

I went to a strawberry tea party yesterday which was very cutesy – plenty of girls in their best dresses and little lace gloves...it was terribly charming...unfortunately no giant cards or rabbits, or men in strange hats...it would be wonderful to have an adventure like Alice in Wonderland. I’d be quite happy to fall down a rabbit hole and disappear from the world sometimes...I want my own Wonderland.


In my ‘about me’ section I’ve written ‘cigarettes’ and someone’s asked me how that fits in with trying to live healthily...I don’t smoke, it would be silly of me to as I have asthma, the health implications are enormous and I think it’s a terrible addiction, however I do think that cigarettes in photos can look incredibly sexy – think Vogue Paris, I can really appreciate the use of a cigarette in a good editorial, sometimes it can add a somewhat chic aspect to a photo – I am fully aware that the fashion industry shouldn’t be glamorising such a deadly habit though, but I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon. Smoking is a big aspect of life for anyone growing up in Europe.
And in response to some other comments...no my teeth may not be a perfect shade of white, but then I don’t live in the States where teeth whitening kits are readily available from the local supermarket, we have a ban on that sort of thing because they’re really bad for your teeth and erode the enamel...however, I do have healthy teeth, and teeth which perform their function exceptionally well...so I couldn’t really ask for more than that. I don’t need super white perfect teeth, I’m happy with mine as they are...who cares if they make me look like a horse, I don’t and neither should you.
As for my eyelashes...wow, I can’t believe you feel the need to look so closely at my photos in order to try and point out any flaws, but it is ridiculous for you to comment saying I don’t have eyelashes...of course I do, silly...I have regular eyelashes just like any other girl – the fact that I don’t wear mascara means they may not have quite as much volume or length as some people’s – but then I’m not the girl that has to spend precious time removing their mascara every single night or the girl that has to make sure she always packs her makeup remover in her sleepover bag each time she stays away from home, and for that I am very thankful.
And finally, my nose...some of you (or maybe just one person) clearly do not like my nose – and to be honest I’m not a fan of it either, but my grandfather is, he always comments on it being a cute nose and so I would never have rhinoplasty because I value his opinion above anyone else’s and would hate to upset him.

Despite my many imperfections and not looking quite how I’d like to look, I seem to be doing well in life and that’s just fine by me because it’s true what they say, there is more to life than how a person looks. Maybe those of you who constantly have something bad to say about my appearance should take a deep look at themselves before saying such horrid things...who knows, you may be perfect on the outside, you might be one of those incredibly beautiful types, the girl that people look at whilst walking down the street and secretly want to be – but I can honestly say I’d never want to be you, because you’re definitely ugly on the inside.

Case closed, let’s move on.

Give it up or let me go.

My new bikini...from Topshop...I’ve wanted this one for a while now but today was the first time I’d seen it in store in my size, thankgoodness! It’s so pretty, such a beautiful print and colour...I think it suits my skin and hair colour quite well – I feel as though I’m channelling my inner-mermaid, which is always a good look in the summer.


I received a really lovely comment from an anonymous poster who amongst other things asked for advice on how I manage to stay strong in my ‘no sex before marriage’ stance as it seems to be an issue in the relationship she’s in...this may seem terribly cliché but if your boyfriend really cares then he will stay with you no matter what you decide and it really is just a matter of asserting your view strongly from the beginning of the relationship and just standing by your view whole-heartedly...I was fortunate in that when I was with Kingsley I explained to him what I believed, and he accepted that, to an extent – but he did often point out that I was incredibly lucky to have him because most people would leave me as soon as they find out something so major...he did raise the topic quite a lot, and it was almost as if he held it against me sometimes and could use it as ammunition – so maybe that’s another contributing reason as to why we didn’t work out. But whenever I date someone I always make sure that they know and understand my view on no sex before marriage because it is something that’s really important to me – although maybe my situation is slightly different as it’s not due to religious reasons, but more practical; I don’t want to accidently become pregnant whilst still studying or entering the ‘world of work’ as I’m completely pro-life, so it really would alter my future, and not in a good way. Of course I feel pressured by other people all the time, but I just try to spend as little time as possible with those people because if something like this is important to you then others will just have to accept it and get over it, and I’ve found that a lot of my friends have come to respect and admire my decision too. The beauty of our generation is that we can hold strong opinions and attitudes and even though people may try to change and corrupt our principles it is possible to stay true to what you believe in, and you should really take pride in that.

On a side note, I have a date tonight with my friend Maxwell...he’s from Notting Hill, also a politics student though he’s heading across the pond in August to Washington DC to study for a year, so if it results in a relationship it would be a long distance one...luckily I enjoy spending time in the States and wouldn’t mind a few nice holidays in DC.

Some favourites from the CFDA Awards.

Anja Rubik; with a body like that I’m pretty sure anything would look amazing, however I do just absolutely adore this whole look, the minimal accessories, the simplistic cut of the dress and the brilliant white against her colouring. Perfection.



Kirsten Dunst; I usually find her choices really hit and miss, but this is definitely a hit for me...I go weak at the knees for anything shiny and she really looks fabulous in this interestingly-cut dress.



Hana Soukupova; another model who knows how to dress to suit her body, again the shiny fabric caught my eye...I’m a bit of a magpie in that respect. I’m not overly in love with the cut of the dress and probably wouldn’t choose a style like that for myself, but Hana really looks exceptional.



Ashley Olsen; I’m not sure how much I like this dress from the front (but google for the back images because it’s amazing), also I think the colour is an odd choice and the dress seems to swamp her...but makeup and hair are flawless and I think the overall look really works here...plus I wanted to sneak in a picture of my favourite Olsen.

I thought Whitney Port and Blake Lively looked good too...especially Blake who usually wears such ill-fitting dresses, but I didn’t really think they needed to be included in this post.

What do you want the girl to do?

I had another great photoshoot last week and the photographer has asked to work with me again which I’m so happy about – she’s just come back from maternity leave and is rebuilding her portfolio with a fresh new style and after the group shoot last week asked if I’d be willing to take part in some beach shots for her ‘folio and also if I’d be interested in working on some shoots with her in London...needless to say I jumped at the chance and happily accepted like a giddy little school girl. After all, it is summer, and summer is all about having fun! Hopefully I’ll be able to post some of the photos once I receive them...although I don’t know when that will be because the actual photos are for 2010 and 2011 promotional work so I guess there’s not much of a rush to get them edited!


Isn’t Kate Bosworth such a dream? I’m convinced the girl can do no wrong sartorially...I already have a very similar pair of boots to the ones she’s wearing in this photo, but I’ve yet to wear them...they’ve been waiting patiently in my shoe-room for about a year now...I tend to favour two or three pairs of shoes for months and neglect the others, but continue to buy anyway because I know that they’ll all have an equal turn as a favourite one day. And maybe that day has finally arrived for this particular pair of booties.


A few responses to some questions...yes my hair is naturally blonde despite how dark my eyebrows appear, I used to be very fair as a child but when I reached 15 it became a dark blonde, and not a particularly attractive shade either which is why I have my hair highlighted now...it is bleached by the sun too as I’m outside a lot during the summer months although I wish it didn’t as it tends to become too blonde for my liking, but once I’m back in England properly in late-September I’ll have some darker shades put in to make it a less obnoxious shade of blonde!
I also received a question asking how I cope with the negative comments on the blog and if they hurt me...well, I’d be lying if I said they didn’t upset me sometimes...of course I feel hurt when someone says horrid things about the way I look...but I try not to dwell on it too much, because at the end of the day, if someone feels better about themselves after saying hurtful things to other people then I pity that person because they can’t have many enjoyable things in their life if attacking someone’s appearance anonymously through a blog it what really makes them happy. I’m lucky because I receive some lovely comments on this blog too, and all the time I continue to hear nice things in addition to the negative, I’ll keep writing.
And another question was why do I randomly start writing in French sometimes...well, some of you may think that it’s pretentious....but gosh, lighten up, I happen to think it’s fun...do you honestly not slip in French words whilst talking to your friends? Because I do...I spend a lot of time in France and it’s a major part of my background, and so my friends and I frequently speak ‘Franglais’ because it’s what we know, and what we’ve always known, and I don’t really intend on changing who I am and what I’m about now...the way I write on this blog is almost identical to the way I converse with my friends...this is life and life’s about having fun, and enjoying yourself...stop taking these things so seriously, you should just be thankful that I don’t start slipping in Latin words...d’accord?